One Pile for Dad; One Pile for Mom
“In the hours before midnight on the eve of Chinese New Year, hundreds of families went outdoors to burn paper money and incense. Although our host’s brother said it’s “just a custom and not a superstition,” I am not convinced.
While the money burns, words of prayer are spoken.
“Grandpa, make my children healthy and do well in school. This money is for you.”
“We remember you, Grandma. This is for you. Stay warm.”
People bow down in front of the pile of burning paper. It’s a sobering thing to watch, this “custom” of the Chinese New Year.
Stacks of Paper Money Offered to Dead Relatives
I’m going to get deep now. Get ready.
I’ve discovered that people (ALL people) often use the term custom as an excuse for not thinking about their behavior, for not making deliberate choices about how to act.
Me –Why do you….?
Her –Well, it’s our custom.
Me –But why is it your custom?
Her –It’s just what we do.
paper with "coin" imprints to represent money
Living abroad has helped me honestly look at my own customs.
- How many are superstitions?
- How many do I follow just because “that’s what we do?”
- What do these customs really mean?
- Where did they come from originally, and what significance do they hold for me?
- Do they enrich my life and draw me closer to God?
It can bring about some soul searching.
Here’s a small example. I rarely ever say, “God bless you,” when someone sneezes. First of all, it’s not part of the culture here, and people think it’s crazy to say for a sneeze. (So is saying “excuse” me after a burp, but I still do that!) So I’ve slowly gotten out of the habit. But I also made a conscious decision to stop saying it even when around other Americans.
Did you know blessing someone when he sneezes was originally was a superstition to ward off evil spirits that were supposedly causing a sneeze? Now, it’s not wrong to say, “God bless you,” when someone sneezes. But I realized that I say it more out of habit than a genuine desire to bless someone. And since it is rooted in superstition, I chose to change that behavior. Living in a superstitious culture has shown me the absurdity of some of my own “rules of behavior” and has made me want to change them to better reflect what I truly believe.
Another example. Several years ago, my husband and I chose to stop using the words luck or lucky, preferring to use blessing instead. Because that’s the reality. We are blessed by God, not the recipient of random fortune.
None of us are totally consistent, and these issues often fall in the area of Christian liberty. (Worshiping ancestors, of course, is not a matter of Christian liberty. I mean how we observe holidays and habits of behavior.)
What do you think? Are there customs of behavior or even words that you’ve chosen to reject because they don’t match your values or are rooted in superstition?
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Hi, I'm Jimmie, and this is my online collage -- a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but mostly homeschooling with a loosely Charlotte Mason style. You're welcome to poke around and leave a comment if you desire. 
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
For our family we decided that we hardly do what God requires of us in His Word to do and if we are going to see the inconsistencies in other people we have to use the same standard of judging for ourselves.
I think that moving away from the culture one grows up in can really have that effect of ‘questioning’ especially when one does move into a culture that is as steeped in ‘religion’ such as the one you are in and the different one I am in too.
When someone sneezes around here everyone says, “to health” which is of course pretty similar to the German “Gesundheit”. We stopped saying ‘luck’ many years ago because of its connection to Lucifer and fortune and like you we believe we have been blessed or favoured of the Lord.
We never did the ‘tooth fairy’ because of its origins in paganism and witchcraft and other things that we don’t find in the Bible – like the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus and other ‘Saint’ related things.
.-= Darya´s last blog ..What does ‘Christian’ really mean? =-.
Same here with ‘good luck’, which I haven’t actually said for many years… I say instead, I hope everything goes well, or when fitting, ‘may the Lord bless your endeavors’… or something to that effect. I can’t stand to sound trite though, so it just depends. i have however eradicated luck from my thinking
.-= Amy in Peru´s last blog ..Just a little bit longer… =-.
Living overseas definitely opens your eyes to the why of the things you do. We have taken it very far, little by little, over the years. We don’t even celebrate Christmas in any traditional ways. We celebrate it with reading the Christmas story and singing Christian Christmas songs and with eating with friends and neighbors. Last year my husband went out and found a homeless woman and brought her home for Christmas and she lived with us for several weeks until she found another home. We stopped trees and decorating and gifts. Now I am amazed at how everyone talks about being “stressed” at Christmas time. Are we supposed to be stressed out over the Savior’s birth? Anyway, there are many, many ways we’ve changed, little and big. It’s always a good thing to stop and think! We so often just keep going and going without pausing to think about the why. Great post, Jimmie!
.-= Lee´s last blog ..New Reviews =-.
I’ve stopped using “luck,” too. I’ve been re-evaluating how we celebrate holidays & why we celebrate them, too. We don’t do the tooth fairy or Santa. I’ve never been obsessed with Valentine’s day, & hubby & I don’t exchanged Valentines gifts, but this year I started researching it’s origins, and it’s not really something I’d want to celebrate.
Another thing I noticed recently is how many Christians say “Oh, my God!” about things, when they are not truly calling on God or praising Him, etc; it’s just an expression of excitement or whatever, so it really seems to be a subtle way of using His name in vain.
Thanks for a great post.
.-= { jamie }´s last blog ..Snowy Fun in the sunny South! =-.
We have some things that we’ve outlawed in our home. I have no idea where these sayings came from, so don’t know if it’s superstitious. We don’t allow the words “God” or “Lord” to be used in any meaningless exclamations. Such as OMG. I decided that I want my family to reverence God even in how we talk about Him, and that it should be said with reverence and not every time we stub our toe. Plus, it seems to me that the wording of the Third Commandment includes the prohibition of this kind of meaningless usage of God’s name.
.-= Rhonda´s last blog ..A Tribute to My Grandfather =-.
Great things to think about. Thanks for the challenge!
.-= Joy´s last blog ..Fickle is what we are =-.
Hi Jimmie! As a Muslim family, we are also cognizant of superstitions and customs. We never say “luck, good luck or lucky”. We don’t wish on stars or knock on wood, and when we sneeze, we say “All praise is to God”; it’s a way to remember God throughout our days in even the smallest or mundane situations. Good post
Take care,
Nakia
much to think about. thank you as always, jimmie.
we don’t use the word luck at all around here, although i have said God bless you when someone sneezes. i’ll have to give it all some thought.
i have found that we do many things a certain way in our house just because that’s the way we did it growing up. whether it be opening Christmas presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning to the “tradition” (term used very loosely) of eating out for Sunday lunch, it all bears examining. as a wife coming from a different upbringing than my husband, it is necessary to not get upset about changes or doing things differently, especially if they really aren’t that important in the long run.
.-= Marsha´s last blog ..Serenade at a price =-.
wonderful post…human traditions vs the WAY of the Christ (Col.2:8)
I feel the same way. We grew up with different traditions than we now practice. We choose to observe Holidays that glorify God, and
draw us near to him, and we choose to not observe those that don’t.
I think it is good to stop and think “Why, are we doing this”?
Living in another culture really does make one think seriously about little “customs”! I remember the first time I came to Japan I was so surprised to see people putting umbrellas over their heads indoors (like, trying one out in a store, or just before going out in the rain). My mom always said, “it’s bad luck to open an umbrella inside.” Besides the fact that I can’t believe my mom actually taught me that, I was surprised at myself – that I had such a strong reaction to something that involved a superstition I didn’t really believe in anyway!
I am totally with you on the things you mentioned. One thing that can be tricky is that even though certain things may be superstitions that I am tempted to simply ignore, sometimes my ignoring them could be a stumbling block to my Japanese friends or neighbors. One in particular is the Japanese superstition about the number four. Four is pronounced exactly the same as the word for “death” in Japanese. That’s why no hospital will have a fourth floor, even if the building is taller than four floors. When you get into the elevator you will get out on the fifth floor after passing the third. There will be no hospital rooms labeled four either.
Since we love to give baked goods to our Japanese friends I always try to remember to give them three of something, or five, but never four. I don’t believe in the superstition, and they may say they don’t either, but I would never want to cause them discomfort, or cause them to stumble because of my lack of consideration. I have thought of this one often recently, because one of my husband’s students in the hospital, and I have been making bread and things for the parents. Even though two bagels for each parent seems just right I have to remind myself to throw in one more to keep from making them uncomfortable or worried.
Living with a very logic driven little boy as I do has raised many interesting discussions on customs… It is always interesting what others do and what we do as a habit. I always have so much to think about after checking in with you.
Blessings,
Dawn
I truly enjoy these types of discussions. I think it’s very important to live intentionally and when we just blindly follow “customs” we aren’t doing that. Many times we aren’t even aware of what we are doing until someone brings it up! Thanks Jimmie
What an awesome topic! I read about the family that owns the Timberdoodle company not putting candles on a birthday cake… that’s an interesting “custom”! We don’t make a wish, but still blow out candles… weird. God bless your family! Your blog blesses me!
) Rachel
I agree with you on the offerings to spirits, but also recognize that to our Chinese friends who are family, it is a difficult and complicated issue. It brings in respect for family and tradition, which is a high value in Chinese culture.
I think that seeing things like idols and offerings should bring us to examine our own hearts. What are our own idols? What do we worship? It may no be idols made by hand but we most certainly bow down to personal idols of money, food, security, anger, sex. While another culture’s idols may be visible to us, our own “invisible” idols are equally repugnant to God.
This time of year gives us many opportunities to pray. When I hear the firecrackers, I can pray that God would bring true protection to this land, rather than the false protection that the setting off of firecrackers bring.
I also agree with Sue, who talked about not causing people to stumble, through not respecting beliefs and customs. It’s a fine line to walk!
.-= Sandy Fox´s last blog ..Hong Kong! =-.
I feel much the same way. I haven’t *blessed* someone for their sneeze in quite a few years. (Logically, it is much more fitting for them to excuse themselves anyway!) And we don’t speak in luck. In our church we don’t even have pot luck dinners. We call them Pot Providence Dinners! Hahaha
What a great topic to put out there. It was great to read everyone’s comments. I share the same with some…counting it a blessing instead of luck, teaching my kids the falsehood of superstitions. I’ve been wrestling with how we celebrate Christmas (typical – tree, presents, stockings, etc.) for years, and this gives me some more to think about. It’s hard to change a tradition when you know you’ll be rocking everyone else’s boat (parents, extended family that loves it the way it is), but if the conviction fits, I want to wear it. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!
Thanks for this thoughtful post. We, too, have lived in Asia for a while now and have been rethinking many of our American cultural persuasions and habits. It really makes me think about what I am doing for the Lord, is it because I’ve been “programmed” or from my heart. It is OK if it is from both, but not if it is the former alone. This is something my husband and I have been talking about a lot in the past years, and I enjoyed reading someone else’s thoughts.
what a wonderful post, and very thought provoking as well as the comments.
On the “God bless you” when someone sneezes, I’m aware of the origin, but I do it more because it’s considered polite to do so, than because of the superstition.
I tend to not say luck when describing things that have happened to me, and instead attribute it to God, but I do wish people luck when they’re starting an endeavor. I’ll have to think on that some, if it makes more sense to instead say a blessing. I’m not sure if it would come off quite right though…… More to think on.
.-= Ticia´s last blog ..Interview with Superman =-.
I never use the word “luck” or “lucky” around my husband, because he always says “There’s no such thing as luck!”, lol!
So, I use the word “blessing” in place of it, most of the time.
I still say “bless you” when someone sneezes. I couldn’t imagine just saying nothing. I live in the South, and it would seem kind of rude for me to just ignore people. When our 4 y/o sneezes and someone doesn’t say “bless you”, she’ll say “Bless me, Mommy! Bless me!” until I say it (or Daddy or her sisters – whoever happens to be within earshot). I know evil spirits don’t make people sneeze.
I really don’t think things such as celebrating Christmas with a Christmas tree or showing people love on Valentine’s Day or getting a visit from the tooth fairy could be considered a superstition here in the U.S. After all, I’ve never met anyone that thinks a sneeze means someone has an evil spirit, and I’ve never met an adult that thinks the tooth fairy is real. I have extremely fond memories of Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas – just about every holiday. We don’t make a big, huge deal out of all the decorations and trappings, but I love to be around others and just soak in the atmosphere.
You can choose to celebrate a holiday or leave it alone – whatever works for your family. Where there can be a real problem is when people start taking sides (which inevitably happens with people) and thinking their way is more righteous and garners them more favor with God. It opens the door to legalism, which is idolatry as much as praying to one’s ancestors.
I think your blog is wonderful, and I so enjoy reading it!
.-= Mia´s last blog ..Explanation of the Debt Limit from the Heritage Foundation… =-.
Well-the bless you thing when someone sneezes-I was always led to believe that it was because way back when-sneezing meant you may be getting sick and therefore needed God’s blessing to keep you healthy-guess I need to do some research-so we do say “God bless you” with sneezes…hmmm.
I almost never (now) say “good luck” because, as you stated-luck has nothing to do with it-and it is the Lord who blesses someone with this or that or doing well, etc.
My sis-in-law/bro-in-law spent about 10 years in China and they too found what you did-it is amazing what folks do out of tradition or just because that is what they do…and I guess now I am going to observe the Americans and see what they do just because they see it as tradition. I have to say tho-I do enjoy some traditional type activities-we have several ones we have developed over the years and will continue to do-mainly cuz it brings us together to spend some quality time together and brings a lot of good family memories too.
Great post and thanks for sharing.