Jimmie's Collage » Chinglish

Need a Translation Service? Don’t Try This One

Jimmie — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 04:07:41 +0000

This ad is so terrible that I almost pity the translation service.

How could they have such glaring errors? Even the word translator is misspelled.

Maybe it is the newspaper’s fault, and in that case I certainly hope that NAETI got some substantial compensation for this publicity disaster.

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Hold the Maintenance, Please

Jimmie — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 04:14:01 +0000

I really like it when prices are clearly labeled. You know exactly what services or goods will cost, and there is no need to haggle.

Here’s a great example — a detailed menu standing outside a beauty salon.

Wait a minute! What was that under skin care?

“Hold the maintenance today, folks. I’ll just stick with a haircut.”

So, what do you think it means? I’ll reveal it later.

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Funny Signs

Jimmie — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 08:45:14 +0000

This was at a cute shop selling clothing for babies and toddlers. I did a double take at this sign though!

I think they sell maternity clothes as well. I’m absolutely sure there is nothing in there for pregnant babies.

These two are from directory signs at a department store. Moveclothes are athletic clothes. (It’s a literal translation from Chinese.)

And the never politically correct “middle age women’s dress.” I guess it’s better than some shops catering to older women that are called “Fat Wife,” the only equivalent to a plus-sized shop in China. I think I’d wear rags rather than shop at “Fat Wife.”

This is a tea shop with a very odd name.

And I found this at the papershop.

I can assure you that I do not use this ATM.

(It’s actually an ATM and a deposit box, thus the odd name. But with all the counterfeit money in China, I prefer to use an ATM that only puts out money instead of taking it in.)

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Everyday Chinglish

Jimmie — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 04:33:41 +0000

My monitor cable was on the fritz, and when I pulled down the box to find the warranty information, I spied this ultra-cute example of Chinglish.

The weather cooled off after a rainy day last week, so Sprite and I did some errands on foot. I carried my camera and got some great Chinglish shots for you.

Close to this construction site we found a small stationery shop with five bottles of white glue! That’s a real find! We bought two of them.

I think this is a cosmetic medicine clinic to help you be more beautiful. No need for that for us. We’re already “Beauty Women!”

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Funny Chinglish Signs & Mushrooms

Jimmie — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 02:19:00 +0000

Three lovely Chinglish examples for you today.

These two are signs near our home. I walk by them often but usually without my camera. They are just too good not to share, so I deliberately took my camera one day.

I think this is a fancy name for what is in essence a tea house or maybe even a bar.

Yummy. Now doesn’t that name just make you want to go right in and order up several bowls?

And this one is thanks to my dear husband. He’s a gem about picking up a few needed grocery items on his way home. I texted him, asking for peppers and mushrooms (for pizza).

When he got home, I was surprised to find these dried mushrooms in the bag. He explained that the grocery store had no fresh mushrooms. (It’s very common to not be able to buy certain things at the supermarket. The choices fluctuate greatly.) The ladies in the store explained that these would work if I boiled them in water for a few minutes. (“What do they know about making pizza?” I wondered.) As I grabbed some scissors to open the bag, I noticed the wonderful Chinglish on the package.

My husband said that he knew I’d like the crazy English, so he bought that particular brand. Good man! And they worked okay on the pizza. A bit chewy, but maybe that was just from our mind.

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Quick Crazy English Post

Jimmie — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 04:59:22 +0000

We’ve been home, sleeping in our own beds for one whole week now. It’s good to be home, but whew… it does take me some time to get back on track. Besides jet lag, there were so many things to tend to — unpacking & organizing, shopping, banking, paying our rent, calling friends.

In lieu of a longer post, here are some Crazy English shots from Beijing. Hope this tides you over for a while.

On our way back to China, we had to spend one night in Beijing (due to flight schedules). It was actually nice to be able to shower and sleep after that killer 13 hour flight from Chicago.

We took a shuttle from one terminal to another where we put our 10 trunks/cases in left luggage. We saw this on the shuttle window. Not too bad, actually. At least you know what it means.

When you’re a bleary eyed foreign family looking for a place to sleep for the night, don’t expect any bargains in Beijing. We got totally taken at this hotel. It was NOT 100% perfect. Just a glance at this sign in the elevator can prove that.

For what we paid, it should have been a four star hotel. It was more like a two star. (The reservation desk said it was three stars. Whatever. It was a place to lay my tired head.) We all ended up with dozens of mosquito bites from our stay. The good news was that since we woke up super-early with jet lag, we ventured out on our own to find some breakfast instead of waiting for the hotel breakfast (notoriously bad). We got some amazing street food for just a few dollars. I even found an ice cold coke as my coffee substitute. I was a happy camper.

Back to Terminal 2 to await our domestic flight, we found these three Chinglish examples.

Lei in Chinese means tired. I sure was feeling lei! I thought a Tired Cafe seemed pretty appropriate. Feeling tired? Have a cup of coffee! In fact, it was named after the Hawaiian Lei as you can see from the Chinglish explanation below.

Actually, there was no alcohol served here, just hot water (boiled so it’s safe to drink).

Maybe PRESTIGE wasn’t a big enough word for this billboard inside the terminal. Maybe it wasn’t “NOUN” enough. Add on a -NESS just to make it clear.

Enjoy!

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Daily Dose of Chinglish with Your Cup of Coffee

Jimmie — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 04:23:30 +0000

I’ve discovered a wonderful shopping option that has almost anything conceivable – Taobao.

So far I’ve bought an oven, an oven thermometer, a camera bag, permanent markers, coffee, and audio books. These are all things I can’t get in my city which I can now buy online and have delivered right to my home. I am so thrilled with my new skill. It’s not easy to do. Setting it all up is a nightmare, and reading the Chinese requires a lot of help from online translators, but it’s worth it now that I can buy hard to find items right from home.

Take a look at my wonderful Colombian coffee, ground for free, and shipped right to my apartment entrance.

At the top it says Enjoy Your Life. Well, thanks, Coffee. I will, especially with a cup of YOU in my hand.

Then I see a very classy crest which certainly proves the pedigree of my fine Colombian coffee beans. Under that I learn that these are not ordinary coffee beans but Professional Coffee Beans. My apologies, Dr. Coffee.

And then to top it all off is such a moving statement from Dr. Coffee. Just let that soak in. Does your coffee speak so tenderly to you? Oh, no. This is special coffee. Professional coffee.

Oh, Dr. Coffee, I am moved by your touching sentiment. And even though we’ve just met, I feel the same about you. I can’t wait to brew you tomorrow morning!

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Chinglish Fun

Jimmie — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 04:28:12 +0000

When we made the little trip to pick up Sprite, I made sure to carry my camera around most of the time. I was richly rewarded. The first one is my favorite — Chinglish on the side of a very nice Toyota SUV.

Yeah, don’t even ask. I have no idea either.

This one at least makes sense although it’s worded quite oddly.

BathFool sounds intriguing. But we didn’t go.

Such a dignified lady and such expensive clothes with such a ridiculous name.

Starbucks wannabe.

Another really bad translation.

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Latest Crazy English

Jimmie — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 13:25:46 +0000

It’s time for a crazy English post!

The Lao She Teahouse in Beijing is a very classy place, but it’s not immune to Chinglish.

This one is so good, right until the end.

The next three were a jackpot of Chinglish in a public restroom near one of the Olympic Venues in Beijing. Guess that special Chinglish taskforce didn’t make it into the toilets.

I can’t blame this one on Chinglish. Maybe it’s Thai-ish? Here’s a burn ointment we bought in Thailand. Misspelling plus a wrong ending — another double whammy.

These funny faced cotton swabs are useful for a living. Maybe I should send these to my out of work relatives in USA. Oh, the difference an article makes.

And these gems were taken at my very own local bus station.

Go ahead. Laugh. It’s okay. I’ve had plenty of people laugh at my crazy Chinese. It’s fair.

Jimmie's Collage » Chinglish

Need a Translation Service? Don’t Try This One

Hold the Maintenance, Please

“Hold the maintenance today, folks. I’ll just stick with a haircut.”

Funny Signs

Everyday Chinglish

Funny Chinglish Signs & Mushrooms

Quick Crazy English Post

Daily Dose of Chinglish with Your Cup of Coffee

Chinglish Fun

Latest Crazy English

Of “Corcs” They’re Made in China!