Jimmie's Collage » Chinglish

Funny Chinglish Signs & Mushrooms

Jimmie — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 02:19:00 +0000

Three lovely Chinglish examples for you today.

These two are signs near our home. I walk by them often but usually without my camera. They are just too good not to share, so I deliberately took my camera one day.

I think this is a fancy name for what is in essence a tea house or maybe even a bar.

Yummy. Now doesn’t that name just make you want to go right in and order up several bowls?

And this one is thanks to my dear husband. He’s a gem about picking up a few needed grocery items on his way home. I texted him, asking for peppers and mushrooms (for pizza).

When he got home, I was surprised to find these dried mushrooms in the bag. He explained that the grocery store had no fresh mushrooms. (It’s very common to not be able to buy certain things at the supermarket. The choices fluctuate greatly.) The ladies in the store explained that these would work if I boiled them in water for a few minutes. (“What do they know about making pizza?” I wondered.) As I grabbed some scissors to open the bag, I noticed the wonderful Chinglish on the package.

My husband said that he knew I’d like the crazy English, so he bought that particular brand. Good man! And they worked okay on the pizza. A bit chewy, but maybe that was just from our mind.

Quick Crazy English Post

Jimmie — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 04:59:22 +0000

We’ve been home, sleeping in our own beds for one whole week now. It’s good to be home, but whew… it does take me some time to get back on track. Besides jet lag, there were so many things to tend to — unpacking & organizing, shopping, banking, paying our rent, calling friends.

In lieu of a longer post, here are some Crazy English shots from Beijing. Hope this tides you over for a while.

On our way back to China, we had to spend one night in Beijing (due to flight schedules). It was actually nice to be able to shower and sleep after that killer 13 hour flight from Chicago.

We took a shuttle from one terminal to another where we put our 10 trunks/cases in left luggage. We saw this on the shuttle window. Not too bad, actually. At least you know what it means.

When you’re a bleary eyed foreign family looking for a place to sleep for the night, don’t expect any bargains in Beijing. We got totally taken at this hotel. It was NOT 100% perfect. Just a glance at this sign in the elevator can prove that.

For what we paid, it should have been a four star hotel. It was more like a two star. (The reservation desk said it was three stars. Whatever. It was a place to lay my tired head.) We all ended up with dozens of mosquito bites from our stay. The good news was that since we woke up super-early with jet lag, we ventured out on our own to find some breakfast instead of waiting for the hotel breakfast (notoriously bad). We got some amazing street food for just a few dollars. I even found an ice cold coke as my coffee substitute. I was a happy camper.

Back to Terminal 2 to await our domestic flight, we found these three Chinglish examples.

Lei in Chinese means tired. I sure was feeling lei! I thought a Tired Cafe seemed pretty appropriate. Feeling tired? Have a cup of coffee! In fact, it was named after the Hawaiian Lei as you can see from the Chinglish explanation below.

Actually, there was no alcohol served here, just hot water (boiled so it’s safe to drink).

Maybe PRESTIGE wasn’t a big enough word for this billboard inside the terminal. Maybe it wasn’t “NOUN” enough. Add on a -NESS just to make it clear.

Enjoy!

Daily Dose of Chinglish with Your Cup of Coffee

Jimmie — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 04:23:30 +0000

I’ve discovered a wonderful shopping option that has almost anything conceivable – Taobao.

So far I’ve bought an oven, an oven thermometer, a camera bag, permanent markers, coffee, and audio books. These are all things I can’t get in my city which I can now buy online and have delivered right to my home. I am so thrilled with my new skill. It’s not easy to do. Setting it all up is a nightmare, and reading the Chinese requires a lot of help from online translators, but it’s worth it now that I can buy hard to find items right from home.

Take a look at my wonderful Colombian coffee, ground for free, and shipped right to my apartment entrance.

At the top it says Enjoy Your Life. Well, thanks, Coffee. I will, especially with a cup of YOU in my hand.

Then I see a very classy crest which certainly proves the pedigree of my fine Colombian coffee beans. Under that I learn that these are not ordinary coffee beans but Professional Coffee Beans. My apologies, Dr. Coffee.

And then to top it all off is such a moving statement from Dr. Coffee. Just let that soak in. Does your coffee speak so tenderly to you? Oh, no. This is special coffee. Professional coffee.

Oh, Dr. Coffee, I am moved by your touching sentiment. And even though we’ve just met, I feel the same about you. I can’t wait to brew you tomorrow morning!

Chinglish Fun

Jimmie — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 04:28:12 +0000

When we made the little trip to pick up Sprite, I made sure to carry my camera around most of the time. I was richly rewarded. The first one is my favorite — Chinglish on the side of a very nice Toyota SUV.

Yeah, don’t even ask. I have no idea either.

This one at least makes sense although it’s worded quite oddly.

BathFool sounds intriguing. But we didn’t go.

Such a dignified lady and such expensive clothes with such a ridiculous name.

Starbucks wannabe.

Another really bad translation.

Latest Crazy English

Jimmie — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 13:25:46 +0000

It’s time for a crazy English post!

The Lao She Teahouse in Beijing is a very classy place, but it’s not immune to Chinglish.

This one is so good, right until the end.

The next three were a jackpot of Chinglish in a public restroom near one of the Olympic Venues in Beijing. Guess that special Chinglish taskforce didn’t make it into the toilets.

I can’t blame this one on Chinglish. Maybe it’s Thai-ish? Here’s a burn ointment we bought in Thailand. Misspelling plus a wrong ending — another double whammy.

These funny faced cotton swabs are useful for a living. Maybe I should send these to my out of work relatives in USA. Oh, the difference an article makes.

And these gems were taken at my very own local bus station.

Go ahead. Laugh. It’s okay. I’ve had plenty of people laugh at my crazy Chinese. It’s fair.

So, tell me, which one made you laugh?

Of “Corcs” They’re Made in China!

Jimmie — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:11:36 +0000

No need for me to comment. This pic speaks for itself.

I Wanna A Crazy English

Jimmie — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 02:21:34 +0000

Chinese + English = Chinglish

Here are my latest Chinglish finds.

The restaurant was out of business, so obviously not a lot of people “wanna a dish.”

This is where the dutiful, subservient employee works.

Found at the entrance of a museum. A needed sign but generally ignored. I’ve seen dogs in beauty parlors, grocery stores, restaurants, department stores, and pharmacies.

Lots more Chinglish can be found at Crazy English.

Hotel Chinglish

Jimmie — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 13:03:44 +0000

It’s a good thing I’ve stayed in a lot of hotels and pretty much understand how they work. Otherwise these signs may leave me flabbergasted.

Lonely God Chips

Jimmie — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 10:09:35 +0000

These potato chips were just to interesting to pass up. I invested about 50 cents just so I could bring them home and share them with you.

Apparently the Lonely God likes tomato flavored chips. We haven’t tried them yet. The package is just too much fun to ruin!

I did have visions of Mars Hill when I saw these, “The lonely god wants to befriend you!” (Of course, the Most High is not lonely, but I did consider what implications this strange English translation may have.)

Crazy English at the Mall

Jimmie — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 11:01:04 +0000

China never disappoints me with hilarious signs! Here are two more.

No Retrograding

Okay, this isn’t hilarious. This is actually sad because it reflects the attitude in China towards those with disabilities. (By the way, a handicapped accessible toilet is a rare thing here.)

Unable