I want to openly say that I am a homeschooler. (You knew that.) But I am not a militant homeschooler.

What is a militant homeschooler?

By militant homeschooler I mean someone who believes that all Christians should homeschool their children. Actually, the word should is probably too weak. A militant homeschooler is one who thinks that homeschooling is the only path to educating children and therefore is a matter of disobedience to God — a sin — not to.

Militant homeschoolers judge others who do not homeschool and pity those pathetic children who can’t learn at home. Militant homeschoolers like you when they find out that you homeschool — until they discover you are not a militant like they are. It’s not enough just to homeschool, you have to be utterly convinced that it is the only educational path.

Why I am not a militant homeschooler

To put it most simply, Christians we are free in Christ.

Our two commands are to love the Lord with all our heart, mind, and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves.

What a responsibility we have to raise our children in the love of the Lord! But homeschooling is not necessarily the single answer to that responsibility. In fact, you can homeschool your child and not teach him the truth of God’s word or be an example of it. (That would be a sin.) On the other hand, there are parents who send their children to public and private school who do an excellent job providing spiritual direction.

I agree that God calls people to homeschool. He has called me to do that –at least for now. Things could change, and God may ask us to do something different in the future. Many times in life, God has shoved us off of the path we were on, a path that He directed us to and placed us on. But the time was up. A new path was rising in its place. Who are we to question His direction?

The bottom line is that there is not one single, absolute answer to a child’s education.

• Each child is unique.
• Each family is different.
• Each season of life brings special challenges and privileges.

Free in Christ

So to all you homeschool moms, if you stop homeschooling your child, please don’t act ashamed and embarrassed in my presence. I am not a militant homeschooler. I will not condemn your choice. You don’t have to explain why homeschooling didn’t work in your situation or that you tried with all your heart and strength before you gave up. I’ll listen if you want to share, but I will not judge you as an inferior parent because of any choice that you prayerfully made.

I am free in Christ. Free to obey Christ for the educational choices He makes for my daughter. And you are free in Christ, too.

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I’ve always thought that our American way of having an academic year span two calendar years was such a headache. Wouldn’t it be more convenient to just say school year 2011 instead of school year 2010-2011? Also a wall or desk calendar would work for the whole school year instead of just one semester of two different school years.

Then reality hits.

Christmas and New Year’s Day plus planning for a new school year? That’s a recipe for overload!

As much as I would like neat yearly divisions on paper, having a summer break to rest and plan for a new school year sounds much more practical. I think I’ll stick with our current system after all. It is a huge relief to already know what we are studying for the next semester.

Now back to making sugar cookies. Merry Christmas, dear readers!

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homemade apron among the trees

I’ve rediscovered two things that bring rejeuvenation to my heart. And I’m drinking them in deeply.

I’ve been getting exercise by walking in a nearby park full of old trees and nimble squirrels. As I walk, I listen to music on my MP3 player, and soak in God’s creation as I sing praises. After just a couple of days, I realized that I was getting far more than the benefit of walking and worship. I was getting nature time.

There is something about nature that works healing in my soul. It doesn’t have to be Yellowstone to achieve this calming effect on my heart. The trees, birds, and blue sky that I see in the backyard are enough. In Last Child in the Woods Richard Louv talks about the healing quality of nature, and I’ve certainly seen it in my own life.

This week something on Twitter (of all places) reminded me that creative pursuits are also very healing for me. At this transitional time in my life, I really need all the healing and wholeness I can get. I believe that although God works that healing in my heart, I have a responsibility to put myself in the pathway of that healing as much as possible.

So I’ve given myself a two-part assignment:

1. enjoy nature several times a week
2. make something creative every week

What do you think about my apron pictured there?  I took my sewing machine out of my mom’s attic, and repurposed a thrift store denim bustier (!) and a tablecloth into this colorful apron. I had so much fun designing the apron, fiddling with the cloth, trying it on and adjusting it. It just makes me happy to wear this in the kitchen and to think that I made it.

What activities refresh you? Do you make a deliberate effort to do those things when life is stressful?

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Sprite, 10 years old

Sprite has been ten years old for some time now, and she’s acutely aware that 18 is the magic age of “adulthood” when you go off to college.

One morning I woke up to find a handmade pipe cleaner craft wrapped in a handwritten note that said,

I love you and hope for the last eight years to go slowly.

Love, Sprite

I do too, Sprite. You are a precious gift from the Father. I will always be your mother, and you’ll always be my child. But these remaining eight years are something special to cherish. Thank you for reminding me.

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(Originally posted  Sept. 27, 07 at my old blog)

A Creature on a Leaf

But this is my eye-opener — God reveals Himself through nature; therefore, we must study nature! There is actually a theological reason to study nature! God reveals Himself (His character, law and wrath) through the natural world that He created.

Romans 1:20 “For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead. . . “

If we neglect to study nature, we will probably miss some truths about Him. I don’t want to miss it! I want to learn all I can. And more importantly, I want my daughter to see God through nature. I would never dream of omitting the Bible from our curriculum. Likewise I should not omit the study and enjoyment of nature.

Psalm 19:1-3 “The heavens declare the glory of God; And the firmament shows His handiwork. Day unto day utters speech, And night unto night reveals knowledge. There is no speech nor language where their voice is not heard.”

I am so excited by this discovery. And now as part of our working on the nature journal the next day at home, I’m going to add this question, “Since God reveals His character, law, and wrath through nature, did you sense any of that on our nature walk yesterday? Did God reveal any of Himself to you during that time?”

DD’s answer this week was, “He’s amazing! He made those insects so beautiful!”  Yes! God revealed His Divine Creator character to her through nature.

I’m not talking about worshiping nature here. We understand what animism is, and we don’t fit the bill. I’m talking about seeing up the beam of light all the way to God (as C.S. Lewis said).

You know, I blogged about the nature walks mostly because I knew that if I did, I’d be accountable to my readers to DO it. But now I see that I’m actually accountable to God to lead my daughter in the study and enjoyment of nature!

Col. 1:16 “. . . All things were created through Him and for Him.”

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For Christmas breakfast, we had some very special foods – bacon and blueberry muffins. More than likely, that doesn’t sound very fancy to you. You may even think that it’s a pretty pitiful breakfast to be blogging about, especially for Christmas Day. But it was perfect.

Bacon, because it’s a Western food, is often only sold in bulk at hotel or restaurant supply stores. On Christmas Eve, I was searching for a chafing dish to use as a fondue pot (another treat I had in store for Christmas day). After I made my purchase at the restaurant supply store (the same place where I bought my oven), I noticed a large chest freezer in front of the store. I started poking around among the chicken feet and pig intestines, hoping for some frozen treasures. I casually asked if they had bacon. “Yes, we do,” came the surprising answer. Of course, it wasn’t there in the case; the boss had to ride his motorcycle down to the warehouse to retrieve it. When they go to that kind of trouble I generally feel obliged to buy what they bring back. Fortunately, it was 2 kilograms (about 5 lbs) of good quality bacon and at a price that was just a tad more than the pork I buy at the grocery store. I know, bacon is not even considered a meat on the food pyramid. It’s a fat. I guess I should compare the cost to a bottle of oil. But you have to admit that, health considerations aside, bacon is a wonderful treat for someone who hasn’t eaten it in over six months.

I thought the bacon would be perfect with the blueberry muffins. I’d already planned them way in advance. I had bought a tiny bag of dried berries at a special imports store when we traveled to another larger city to spend Thanksgiving with American friends. They cost more than I’d like to admit. But again, I was preparing for a special treat – Christmas Day breakfast. I soaked them in boiling water to plump them up again. I didn’t even have a full cup that the recipe called for and I was sorry that I hadn’t indulged in a second bag. I topped them off with some dried cranberries (also bought at that import store).

The muffins were perfect. The bacon was crisp. I even warmed the plates before we ate. As if bacon weren’t decadent enough, I put butter on the table. This was Christmas Day Breakfast. It was going to be special.

Sprite and my husband raved. They said over and over how good the muffins were, “Better than Starbucks, Mom!” (Poor child, that’s her only experience of blueberry muffins – Starbucks coffee shops in Asia.) We all savored the bacon. “This is a perfect Christmas breakfast, honey!” my husband praised me. And it was. After we ate, we opened our presents and enjoyed the holiday together.

What’s my point here? It’s not really about muffins.

Living abroad has taught me that simple pleasures like a blueberry muffin or a slice of bacon can really be huge treats when they are rare. And when that simple pleasure is truly savored as we did with our Christmas breakfast, it brings the heart so much pure joy. You realize as you’re experiencing it that it’s actually a very trivial thing – a muffin. But at the same time it feels so luxurious. You truly relish the moment as a gift and as a blessing. And I’ve come to love those moments. That ability to give yourself over to an extreme sense of pleasure in an innocent and insignificant thing is a blessing in itself. Living in China has taught me this joy. My husband knows it, and my daughter does too. We don’t feel that we’re missing out by being “deprived” of bacon and blueberries. Actually, we know that we are better off by being deprived because we can find great pleasure in them when we do have them.

I’m not going to make parallels to Americans’ current financial problems. You can make those connections better than I (especially if you live there). But don’t be afraid of being deprived; it can actually make life much sweeter.

Remember when I told you that one blog goal for 2009 is to write more? On Christmas Day my camera broke. Great timing. So I have no pictures of our great breakfast or great day. But I’m writing. So it’s all good.

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The definition of beauty varies from culture to culture, but people everywhere love beauty. In the midst of gloomy surroundings, you can find efforts to bring a touch of cheer — ususally green plants or vibrant blooms.

When I see the flowers among the drab, it makes me smile. To me, it is evidence that man is made in the image of God.  God created beauty; God loves beauty.  And we, like Him, although terribly devastated by our sin nature, still have an inner longing for beauty.

May we find the desire fulfilled in His perfection.

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When I was a child, maybe four or five years old, I bought my mother two pairs of earrings as a gift. Maybe it was Mother’s Day; maybe it was Christmas. I don’t remember the occasion or even the shopping trip. But I vividly remember the earrings.

One pair was a coral-pink set of spoons. The other pair was a lime green set of forks. The forks and spoons were about two inches long. I thought these dangly earrings were so enchanting and so appropriate for a mom who spent so much time in the kitchen cooking us great meals (from scratch).

In the months that passed, I could never understand why my mother never wore them! On one weekend evening, I again asked my mother why she never wore those beautiful spoon or fork earrings. With a smile on her face, she went back into her bedroom and came out with a fork on one ear and a spoon on the other. I was beaming with pride as my mother and father drove away on their date night. When they came back home, I was quick to notice that she still was wearing the lovely fork and spoon earrings! I knew that my mother actually did love the gift I had given her. She had worn it on her date night. That was proof.

Now that I’m an adult, I not only understand the scenario, I truly appreciate my mother’s tenderness towards me. An impatient, hurried mom, getting ready for a date night may have blurted out, “Next time, dear. I don’t have time to change them.” or “Well, I’d rather wear these gold loops.” A frustrated and insensitive mother may have said, “I really don’t like those earrings! It was nice of you to buy them, but I will not wear them outside where people can actually see me! Stop pestering me about it!”

But my mom spoke with her actions. She wore the earrings. Granted, she probably changed in the car, but to me, it was evidence of my mom’s appreciation for me, “I buy good gifts for my mom. She loves what I choose for her.”

Now I find myself in the same situation, wearing jewelry that I didn’t choose. And though I may wince at the style, I remind myself to wear it with joy — this is the badge of a mother.  To show appreciation to my daughter (and husband) is far more important than my sense of style.

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1. A Bittersweet Realization

Ambiguity. How well can you handle it?

• not knowing what someone’s true motives are,
• not knowing what tomorrow will hold,
• not understanding the expectations in a certain situation,
• not being able to reconcile Bible verse A with Bible verse B,
• not being able to solve life’s puzzles and mysteries.

How crazy do those kinds of circumstances make you?
Living abroad as a foreigner in a strange land has forced me to accept a life of greater ambiguity.

First there’s the language issue.To put it simply, when you’re a foreigner, there’s a lot that you just don’t understand. For example, I go to put some money on our telephone account expecting to put $50, but I’m only allowed to put $30 in.Why? The clerk explained it carefully, but I have no idea what she said.How do I react to that situation? Can I live without understanding the entire situation? Can I be satisfied that I at least put some money towards the bill and not dwell on the mystery that remains?

Next there’s the experience issue. In a strange land, you experience new situations that you’ve absolutely never faced before.You have no past experience to draw upon to solve the problem. You basically have two choices: discreetly watch how others are handling it, or just wing it with the best common sense you can muster. These experiences can range from the mundane – shopping in the open air market, using a public toilet, crossing the street – to the serious – giving a wedding gift, dealing with my toddler who hits and growls at curious onlookers, making a hospital visit. When I first came to China, I seriously did not know how to get dressed in the morning. I felt that I had no idea what the day might hold, and I felt totally incapable of even dressing myself appropriately.(I am not exaggerating! You can only imagine how I felt about cooking meals for my family and taking care of household repairs.)

Another area of ambiguity is the whole culture issue. It’s the overarching cause of the ambiguity. Language and experiences both can fit under this umbrella. I’ve discovered that Chinese people themselves are much more accepting of ambiguity than we (westerners/Americans) are.They simply don’t have the same need that we have for detail. It’s a common criticism of foreigners that we just ask too many questions and want to know too many specifics – exactly what time will the activity end? Will lunch be rice or noodles? Will the bus have air conditioning? Chinese people are much more willing to “go with the flow” and accept not knowing. They live more in the present and don’t plan ahead in minutia as I tend to do. So for a planner/organizer type of person (me!) to live among this culture is a real stretch of character!

Where is this going?I think that God has forced me to look at this whole issue of ambiguity by putting me here in China.
Am I willing to accept not knowing, not understanding, not being in control?

What am I trusting?

My ability to solve problems and plan ahead?
Or God’s sovereign hand?
Can I float on God’s flow?
Can I trust him to keep me afloat and provide what I need along the journey despite my own inadequacy?
Can I accept the mystery of God Himself?
Can I continue loving Him when I honestly don’t understand His ways?

Yes, I’m learning how to do all of that. I haven’t mastered it, but I’m “pressing on.”

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