First of all, weirdness is relative. But if you meet someone and you consider their name unique, weird, or unusual, here are some things not to say.
How am I qualified to write this post? Because my name is Jimmie. And although Jimmie (or Jimmy) is about as boring of a white bread name you can get, it’s very unusual for a woman. I’ve faced a lifetime of strange reactions to my name, and this is the wealth of my weird name wisdom.
1. Is that your real name?
variations: Is that short for something? Is that your nickname?
Don’t ask this.
If I introduce myself as Porky Pig, what difference does it make if that’s my real name or not? It’s what I want you to call me.
What is a real name anyway? If people call me by that name, it’s real. It counts. I think the questioner means, “Is this your legal name?” And that’s really not any of his or her business. After all, when you meet someone named Rob, do you instantly ask, “Is that short for Robert?” No, because it doesn’t matter. Rob goes by Rob and wants you to call him Rob. End of story.
Unless you are helping me fill out a tax document or passport application, you don’t need to know what my legal name is.
I’m Jimmie; I go by Jimmie. It’s a real name.
After all it’s not my real name, I’m probably using this unique name because I hate my real name and I don’t want you to force me to reveal it.
By the way, Jimmie is my legal name.
2. Did your parents want a boy?
Wow. Let’s strike directly at a person’s root insecurity of not being accepted by his parents, shall we?
Don’t ask this.
If I say, yes, my parents wanted a boy, I’m admitting that my gender was a huge disappointment to my parents. (What jerks they must be!) How does that leave me feeling? Like a piece of feminine failure, right? Is that really how you want to start off a conversation with a new acquaintance — emphasizing their disappointment to their parents?
No, for the record, my parents didn’t want or expect a boy. They wanted a healthy child. If that child was a boy, he was not going to be named Jimmie. Jimmie was the name they chose for their daughter. Yeah, it’s strange. But I didn’t choose my name. They did.
3. Is that a Southern name?
I heard this one recently from a woman with a strong Northern accent and a condescending sneer on her face.
I get it. We have regional differences. Most female Jimmies are in their nineties and live in nursing homes in the Deep South. But as a product of the South, I don’t appreciate having both my name and my region being criticized in one fell swoop by an obvious outsider.
Maybe her snotty question was a reaction to a few too many of my Southern pals asking her rudely, “You ain’t from around these parts, is you?” Maybe this was her way of getting revenge. Okay, I’ll take one for Team South.
So when you meet someone with a unique name, what should you say? Here are a few suggestions of rejoinders that are not offensive.
1. How do you spell that?
This is a smart question because it demonstrates genuine interest in my name and will also help you to remember it.
2. That’s a neat name! How unique, original, clever, etc.! I like that!
Say something positive about my weird name! Even if you are merely commenting on how memorable it is, a positive remark goes a long way. I instantly like the people who say my name is cool. I can’t help it; it’s endearing.
3. Are you named after someone/your dad?
This is a thoughtful question that can apply to people with non-weird names too. It gives me a chance to explain that I am named after my dad. But don’t be tempted to follow it up with the three no-no questions above. Even if you’re dying to know, just don’t ask those until you know me better.
I hated my name for many years until I realized that it was very memorable. And although I still hate to get interrogated about my name when I meet someone new, for the most part, I have accepted my name. I hope this post will help the world to accept the weird names out there or at least react in a less irritating way.
Ruthie says
AMEN! My name is Ruthie and you wouldn’t think its that unusual but I’m only 30 and people think its odd that I’m so young with an old-fashioned name.
When my youngest was born and people would ask me what her name is I would tell them “Janette” with pride, like any parent, and their tone would immediately change. “Ohhhhhh…….. that must be a family name.” Yes, that’s right. There is no possible reason why I would name my child Janette (another old-fashioned name) other than its a family name. To be fair, it is my mother-in-law’s middle name but that is not the reason I chose it.
I feel that it is hard sometimes to continue to be polite to a new acquaintance after such a beginning. Thank you for this post.
laurie says
I admit that I have wondered about your name! 🙂 I think all kids hate their own names at one time or another, but I think you have a great name. It suits you- as much as I can tell from your blog. I’ve never really thought about how people with unique names might feel about questions asked as I am named “Laura” and was born in 1963. Pretty much every other girl was Laura, Sue (or some version of it), or Linda.
Michelle Cannon says
Great advice! For the record, I’ve always LOVED names that could be used for a boy or girl (Bobbie, Jimmie, Billie). Yes, I’m southern. Maybe a bit to do with it?
As for the condescending northerner, I once married a man from the north. His family (who chose to live down here) firmly viewed southerners as being fully represented by The Beverly Hillbillies. They said some awful things and my family and me. Sometimes, it’s not their bad experience, it’s just snobbish, uppity behavior. Just sayin’.
But I guess they couldn’t help it. They aint’ from these parts. 😉
(Disclaimer: I’m not calling all northerners rude. They aren’t. I have a lot of dear friends from the north.)
Megan says
My aunt’s name is Jimmie also, and I always loved her name. It honestly didn’t occur to me that she had a “boy’s” name until I was an adult.
Heather N says
I would like to say something on two of the points. Point number one: I almost always ask people if their name is short for something if it sounds like a nickname. Even Alex or Rob 😀 On point three: That northerner might not have really been snobby…we all sound like that. I’m from Maine and my husband is from Mississippi, when we first got married he kept asking me why I was so rude to someone. Haha! I’m not sure what it is about northerners, but we sound rude. After being in the south for some years, I have lost some of my snobby-sounding speech, but unfortunately have retained a bit. It was a good article and was very interesting hearing from the viewpoint of an interesting sounding name because I am a “Heather” and was born in the 80s so I am far from interesting!
Velta says
Oh, Jimmie,
I so get it. And, thanks for taking one for Team South. As you can see my name falls into that weird category, funny I find your name to be normal – guess that’s because I’m from the south :). I have run the gamut of comments including asking me about my ethnic background.
I also get an array of pronunciation issues, it is pronounced Vel/ta, no long vowels, no inflections, or anything strange. But, wow the number of people who can’t pronounce it is astounding. Teachers in school called me, Delta, Zelta, Zelda, Velda, Velma, Veleeta, and I had one that called me Velveeta Cheese – yes, that happened. And the kids in school loved it, they included some other ones like Velvet and Viola. I think it made me stronger.
Having a strange name and being teased about it made me cautious when I had kids of my own, I made sure that their names weren’t something that the could be teased about. I even made sure that their initials didn’t spell anything. My mother-in-law demanded that my daughter be named after her grandmother (Beatrice), I calmly pointed out that if I did that then I would have to name a child after one of my grandmothers (Olympus America, or Spicey Ann, or Hattie Leona) my mother-in-law relinquished that request very quickly.
My name is at least a real name, given to me by my mother after a fight with my father’s mother over my name. My mother had chosen “Tymie-Jyn” not sure where she got it but so glad my grandmother argued the point, can you imagine. So, I was named after my Godmother from Austria. And, to my knowledge, I have no Austrian heritage.
I hope that people without weird names take note, and remember that as a parent we’re the ones that give the children their names.
Thanks.
Velta
Jimmie Lanley says
Velta,
Your comment should be a post of it’s own! Wow. Just wow. Those grandmothers’ names surprised me! Not Hattie Leona. I like that one. But Spicey?! Wow! What a fun name. I envision a redhead. 🙂
Tymie-Jyn — just speechless on that one. Velta is better. By far.
Ticia says
Can I just say AMEN! And then another hearty amen.
I think the absolute worst one I get is, “Aren’t you the wrong ethnicity for your name?” Why thank you random stranger for asking me that question. For all you know I could be a white hispanic, I could have a family member that is African American, there could be any number of reasons. I appreciate that statement from you. UGH!
Lily Iatridis says
Your article cracked me up! The annoying reply I sometimes get when I first introduce myself is “Lily out of what?”
Jimmie Lanley says
I don’t even know what that means! Is that a saying?
christine says
we have a daughter called Jimmie. Her legal name IS Jamie, and she IS named after her dad (James, who we call Jim).
Jimmie Lanley says
That is so cool!
Melinda says
I have no idea what has happened to having a tactful, polite society but this is one area where a lot of Americans fall short. Perhaps it is because we are a melting pot of all nationalities that we feel we must comment on an unfamiliar name.
I am from Arkansas, currently residing in New York. About 21 years ago, in Arkansas, I worked with a lady named Jimmie. I LoVeD her! She’s the only one I’ve ever known with that name until I began following your blog. Every time I get your emails and see your name I instantly think of her and am flooded with good memories and a wonderful person.
My husband is Rob and can so relate to all you have written. It is short for Robert but that is a name he is NOT fond of. And when some have found out his name is Robert, for some reason, they begin calling him Bob, which in his book is worse than Robert. lol
You are a lovely lady with a lovely name. 🙂
Toni says
THANK YOU!!!!! I’m living in China and it has taken three years tocorrect my name in my work place – some. Tony is how they wanted to spell it. I had to go to my boss and say my name is Toni with an i for a girl I then pointed at myself and asked if I could be mistaken for a boy and my boss squirmmed in his seat and said no. Not just in China have Idealt with rude questions about my name. I was forced to use my much more feminine sounding middle name Anne when a boy named Tony would answer attendance for me in 4th grade. However Anne with an e has it’s own problems. Yes Toni is can be short for Antoinette but my mom doesn’t like nicknames and fell in love with the name when another little girl in her kindergarten class had the same name.
I have a girlfriend named RICO. That is and always has been here name. One day I asked her how she got such a unique name. She told me her real Japanese name ad said RICO is the Americanized version. I had no idea her name is RICO and having an unusual name has been great. I remember her out of 25 moms I met when we formed a playgroup.
Unique names ROCK!!!! Thanks for your post. Wish I could translate it into Mandarin…LOL
Lainie says
Amen, sister!
Susan Evans says
Hahaha! I loved reading this post! And there is nothing wrong with your name…
Dee Paisley says
I love this method of recognizing how unique you are, how unique we all are. Once I was told that my name was Mom’s second choice – not best choice. I always wanted to be my name, but it rarely fit me. I’ve picked names for my kids that have probably scarred them too. It’s the person inside that is unique and loved. As Veggie Tales reminds us each time, “God made you special, and He loves you very much.”
Kendra says
Ha, you wouldn’t think I have a weird name, but thanks to people with a rather undignified job description, shall we say, I get asked some rather absurd & rude things about my own name. Nothing like the Physical Therapist asking me if I’m named after someone from the “Bunny” Mansion. I’m sure my father would be so proud. Not.
Jimmie says
Very cute! Yes, that is my real name, too.
Meghan says
I just wanted to comment to let you know why I’ve loved your name since I came across your blog several years ago.
I’ve never known a woman with the name Jimmie – besides my grandmother. And she spelled it the same way! So when I came across your name in the online homeschooling world, I felt like the things you said were comfortable and approachable.
Thank you for your blog and all of the encouraging words you give to others! You’ve been a blessing to so many people.
Keeley says
I’ve always loved your name! It’s unique and memorable and therefore awesome.
I have an unusual name too – though it’s not so unusual these days as it was when I was growing up. 😛 I’ve always loved it.
Oceanie Kapparage says
Hi, Jimmie! thanks for this post. People always ask me if my name is real. when I introduce myself to someone or when I fill out a form and give it back, people always ask me “Is this your real name????” thank you for this post, It feel did make me feel better!
BTW I wasn’t named after someone in my family or named after the ‘ocean’
Gaelen E says
So my executive director said my name was weird, cut me off in mid sentence and misrepresented my role. am I over reacting thinking this is not exactly acceptable? Maybe one of these or even two, but all in one sitting?