My latest post at The Heart of the Matter Should You Start a Homeschooling Blog? generated some thoughtful comments that I want to expound on.
Kelli from Adventures in Child Rearing commented
One of the things that I have felt a pull and a leading from the Lord about is the fact that I continually publish the “good stuff.” The point of the blog was to encourage others to get out and enjoy adventure with their family and learn together. But if I’m only blogging the good fun stuff, I am cheating my readers. They need to hear that it ain’t all pretty! Life is hard, but God can bless us if we trust Him!
You are so right, Kelli. Who wants to read a “perfect” blog written by a “perfect” mom who writes perfectly? That kind of blog is intimidating. You may bookmark her ideas and pin her photos, but you would be terrified to actually sit down over a cup of coffee with that blogger because she’s too “perfect.” You wonder how she could ever relate to the “fend for yourself” dinner your family ate that night, the gunk building up in the shower, and the mediocre homeschool lessons you’ve had this week.
News flash. That “perfect” homeschool mom is actually not perfect. You do know that, right? (And if she is perfect, then she is probably very prideful.)
However, the “perfect” blogging extreme should not be corrected by a total swing the other way. For two main reasons, we homeschool bloggers should avoid being too negative.
Public Opinion and Legal Issues
I worry when moms share too much, especially when they live in states where there’s a lot of supervision of homeschoolers. Will an education official clamp down on a family after reading their blog posts admiting they did only “life skills” and no math or reading for three weeks?
I’ve seen blog posts that outright admit to fudging on their 180 days of school.
- A trip to the vet is science.
- The grocery store covers the math lesson.
- Music is done via audio CD in the car.
I’m not saying that those activities aren’t educational. I’m just wondering if a blog post that shares “insider secrets to homeschool documentation” is a smart move.
Maybe your state has very homeschool friendly laws. That’s great. But how do our bad day blog posts contribute towards the unfounded fears that we are just letting the children be raised by wolves instead of diligently teaching them? (Even if you are an unschooler, you have made a deliberate choice to educate in that way. It’s not mere laziness or ignorance.)
Do we perpetuate stereotypes with our blog posts – that homeschoolers sleep late, don’t have due dates, and have no personal discipline? We all have bad days where a lot of school just doesn’t happen, but do we need to blog about them for opponents to use as ammunition against us?
The Whiny Blog
I have a huge fear of complaining on my own blog. I personally hate whiny blogs. (Whiny people are not too fun either.) We all whine at times, but it’s annoying to always hear only negative things. Since I don’t want to become that person on my own blog, I focus on the positive.
We all have bad days. We all get discouraged, take a mental health day, yell at the kids, and serve cereal for dinner. But does it really encourage someone else to read about it?
If through the bad day you had an insight that can minister to others, then by all means share it. But if you’re just venting your frustrations or throwing a pity party, and most of your posts are like that, what kind of community are you creating?
I hope that my readers know that I do show only the good things. There’s plenty of ugly in my life that just doesn’t need to be on this blog. It’s not edifying. It’s not beneficial to anyone. Not to me. Not to you.
So we homeschool bloggers have a fine line to walk. We want to be real about the challenges of homeschooling (and parenting and homemaking) while we express proficiency to outsiders and encouragement to those who need it.
If you are a homeschool blogger, how do you ride this line between being too rosy and being too negative?
Dana Wilson says
You are very insightful, Jimmie, as are many of your readers. 🙂 I agree with what many have said – it is important to focus on the positive rather than complaining or grumbling about things not being the way one would wish. I always try to be ‘real’ on my blog and occasionally share that I have learned this or that by doing it the wrong way first. lol As long as we are learning and growing it is fine to share the ‘process’; but it is pretty clear as believers that we are to encourage one another primarily, so the ‘lesson learned’ should always be included, I think.
I never thought about the idea of possibly sharing something that could get someone else in trouble in an area with stricter homeschooling laws. Good point.
See Jamie Blog says
Good points. I don’t like reading whiny, complaining blogs.
I do share some of the negative in my world, but I hope that the way I do it is actually an encouragement to others. That’s my goal, anyway. Whether adoption, homeschooling, or blended family life, I don’t want to paint an overly rosy picture because all of those are hard. Good, but hard. I also try never to make light of things; we might have a day when we stay in our pj’s — every once in a rare while — but we most certainly cover all the required subjects for all the required hours and days for each school year.
Aadel Bussinger says
You make an excellent point Jimmie! When I started blogging I intended it to be a hobby and a way to journal our experiences homeschooling. I have learned a lot since then and try to make useful, helpful posts instead of wallowing in my own self-pity. If I do talk about struggles, I try to go over the lessons I have learned in order to encourage others. I hope. . .
Shannon says
I could not agree with you more about not posting too much “insider information” for fear of legal troubles.
I was checking my stats one day and noticed about once a month my blog was being frequented by someone Charleston, WV. Each time they would show up, they would look through about 10 pages, (5 posts per page).
When I dug a little further do you know what I found out? This person that comes to my blog once a month and spends quite a bit of time here, well the isp is registered to the WV Dept of Education. I was shocked. I really thought long and hard about ending my blog right then and there. It downright spooked me and I felt completely violated.
After quite a long blog funk, I decided it didn’t matter if they read my blog every month for an hour at a time. What I wrote was public for anybody, even the DoE. However, I am much more mindful that what I write not only represents my family but other homeschoolers to people who don’t know any different. I can only hope that other homeschoolers feel the same responsibility to “the movement” of homeschooling.
Christine Guest says
Thanks, your post answered the “what do I blog about today?” question
http://www.ourcurioushome.net/2011/08/25/what-to-share-about-homeschooling/
Debbie says
Great post, and great topic presented. I agree it is hard to find that fine line of keeping it real and not looking like everything is perfect or being whiny because things are well real life! I try to share with my readers both sides, but I also try to point out that even in the bad we can find good lessons for all. I also try to reveal that even though we had a good day that maybe we did struggle a bit with something. I truly try to keep it as real as I can. I like to pose questions when I can for advice to show I don’t know it all.
Ruth says
Great post! In Puerto Rico we have a saying “–“Eres dueño de lo que callas y esclavo de lo que dices” literal meaning… You are the owner of your silence and slave to what is said out loud.
Eva says
Wow! What a wonderful post!! With our recent move … I’ve missed so much on your blog and everyone else’s … I feel so behind. This post is so timely for me … a good reminder. Thank you!
L2L says
I always try to use my posts as spring board for others and use it as a way to share information on lesson plans….. I don’t share ups and downs so much as I try to have a candid view of our lives and it helps me stay accountable to those things I say I want to do and also try to publish things “I wish I would have know or had” when I first started out.
Ginny Yurich says
As a former high school teacher I can attest that the exact same thing happens in the public schools as well. Teachers have bad days, are sick, are overly tired, are worried, etc. from day to day. On those days they may show movies, give slack off work, or simply let the kids have a free day. They don’t announce it because it would be looked down upon and potentially cause problems with administration. The kids don’t say anything because frankly, they love those kinds of days. Anyways, it happens in both public school and at home so it’s really not all that big of a deal. I don’t think there’s much need to blog about it in my opinion.
Michelle says
Excellent post!
I love to post about all of the fun things we do – but I have had numerous people comment on how ‘together’ I am. Some days that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
At the same time – I do hope that I don’t sound whiny when I post about the bad days…
Thanks for the encouragement. YOUR blog is fabulous!
Alexandra says
Ha, I think I skirt the whole issue of sharing good and bad days by being more informational than personal! I try to lift up with positive “can-do” DIY content. I use the skills I am best at, translate that into a blog, and pray it blesses others. Not everyone will like this(too impersonal), but that’s okay because I’m being true to myself. A blog will never work if you are not honest with yourself about your motivations. I really enjoy the learning, sharing, and helping; so it’s all good.
Joy says
It’s been awhile since I’ve visited your blog. Busy but great summer for us. Anyway, this post resonated with me. It really helped me to think through what I blog about. Thanks so much!